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TOPIC: Life After Marriage
#87523
Life After Marriage 2 Years, 1 Month ago Karma: 51
Most of my friends said that life after marriage is full of struggles and sacrifices. Some of them said that love and trust are fading away so fast. They also said that dating, flowers, chocolate, gifts and being romantic are kinda childish thing to do. Responsibilities and obligations are sky rocketing.

But, what do you think Life After Marriage suppose to be?
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#87527
Re: Life After Marriage 2 Years, 1 Month ago Karma: 52
totally agree with you. literally after my 1st marriage ceremony before, my life changed. Myexhub forced me to sign a letter saying I won't get any cent from him after our marriage. I signed and left him after 11 months. Now we're living separately and I am happy.
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#87528
Re: Life After Marriage 2 Years, 1 Month ago Karma: 34
Life after marriage is a start of never ending adventure for me and my hubby. New experiences, creating memories which we can treasure in the future. Almost 9 years of being together is a great achievement for us.

Life is not always easy, struggles play a major part in developing our character, our relationship with our partner. But being happy is easy, it's a choice, you can always change your attitude.
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#88002
Re:Life After Marriage 2 Years ago Karma: 56
The Reality of Married Life

John J. Robinson in his book Of Suchness gives the following advice on love, sex and married life. "Be careful and discreet; it is much easier to get married than unmarried. If you have the right mate, it's heavenly; but if not, you live in a twenty-four-hour daily hell that clings constantly to you, it can be one of the most bitter things in life. Life is indeed strange. Somehow, when you find the right one, you know it in your heart. It is not just an infatuation of the moment. But the powerful urges of sex drive a young person headlong into blind acts and one cannot trust his feelings too much. This is especially true if one drinks and get befuddled; the most lousy slut in a dark bar can look like a Venus then, and her charms become irresistible. Love is much more than sex though; it is the biological foundation between a man and a woman; love and sex get all inter-twined and mixed up."

Problems

Almost everyday we hear people complaining about their marriages. Very seldom do we hear stories about a happy marriage. Young people reading romantic novels and seeing romantic films often conclude that marriage is a bed of roses. Unfortunately, marriage is not as sweet as one thinks. Marriage and problems are interrelated and people must remember that when they are getting married, they will have to face problems and responsibilities that they had never expected or experienced hitherto.

People often think that it is a duty to get married and that marriage is a very important event in their lives. However, in order to ensure a successful marriage, a couple has to harmonize their lives by minimizing whatever differences they may have between them. Marital problems prompted a cynic to say that there can only be a peaceful married life if the marriage is between a blind wife and a deaf husband, for the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and a deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of his wife.

Sharing and Trust

One of the major causes of marital problems is suspicion and mistrust. Marriage is a blessing but many people make it a curse due to lack of understanding.

Both husband and wife should show implicit trust for one another and try not to have secrets between them. Secrets create suspicion, suspicion leads to jealously, jealousy generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation, suicide or even murder.

If a couple can share pain and pleasure in their day-to-day life, they can console each other and minimize their grievances. Thus, the wife or husband should not expect to experience only pleasure. There will be a lot of painful, miserable experiences that they will have to face. They must have the strong will power to reduce their burdens and misunderstandings. Discussing mutual problems will give them confidence to live together with better understanding.

Man and woman need the comfort of each other when facing problems and difficulties. The feelings of insecurity and unrest will disappear and life will be more meaningful, happy and interesting if there is someone who is willing to share another's burden.

Blinded by Emotions

When two people are in love, they tend to show only the best aspects of their nature and character to each other in order to project a good impression of themselves. Love is said to be blind and hence people in love tend to become completely oblivious of the darker side of each other's natures.

In practice, each will try to highlight his or her sterling qualities to the other, and being so engrossed in love, they tend to accept each other at "face value" only. Each lover will not disclose the darker side of his or her nature for fear of losing the other. Any personal shortcomings are discreetly swept under the carpet, so to speak, so as not to jeopardize their chances of winning each other. People in love also tend to ignore their partner's faults thinking that they will be able to correct them after marriage, or that they can live with these faults, that "love will conquer all."

However, after marriage, as the initial romantic mood wears off, the true nature of each other's character will be revealed. Then, much to the disappointment of both parties, the proverbial veil that had so far been concealing the innermost feelings of each partner is removed to expose the true nature of both partners. It is then that disillusion sets in.

Material Needs

Love by itself does not subsist on fresh air and sunshine alone. The present world is a materialistic world and in order to meet your material needs, proper financing and budgeting is essential. Without it, no family can live comfortably. Such a situation aptly bears out the saying that "when poverty knocks at the door, love flies through the window." This does not mean that one must be rich to make a marriage work. However, if one has the basic necessities of life provided through a secure job and careful planning, many unnecessary anxieties can be removed from a marriage.

The discomfort of poverty can be averted if there is complete understanding between the couple. Both partners must understand the value of contentment. Both must treat all problems as "our problems" and share all the "ups" and "downs" in the true spirit of a long-standing life partnership.


Read more....

Source: www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/dham...da/marriage.html#ch3
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#88015
Re:Life After Marriage 1 Year, 12 Months ago Karma: 52
wow.. SF galing ng article na e2, salamat for posting it here Good job!
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#88052
Re:Life After Marriage 1 Year, 11 Months ago Karma: 53
life after marrige ba o life after wedding itong topic na 'to?
life after marriage = divorce. hehe
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#88989
Re:Life After Marriage 1 Year, 9 Months ago Karma: 51
" The Story about Life after Marriage "
By: Joey Gabinete Acebron



To those who are married, .. Not married .. and soon to be married, I hope you will be touched with this story... MARRIAGE When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce.. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the utensils and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage.

But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jenny. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of savings. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jenny so dearly.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jenny.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our children had their exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt them with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning..

I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Jenny about my divorce conditions.. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our children clapped their hands behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our children about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jenny about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life.

My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our children had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jenny opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jenny, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead.. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jenny, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more.

Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage! If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you. If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
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#89022
Re:Life After Marriage 1 Year, 9 Months ago Karma: 35
In understanding life after marriage, it is better to understand first some important reasons why there is a need for marriage;

Marriage is established by God

God established marriage in the garden of Eden.

Marriage is sacred

God sanctified marriage between a man and a woman (Adam & Eve).

Marriage frees us from sin

If anyone submits himself to another before marriage, they both commit a sin (sin of fornication). "It is better to be married than to burn."

Marriage is fellowship

Man needs someone he could share with. It is not better for a man to be alone , so God gave him a woman out of his ribs, for a woman to submit to her husband and so husband to his wife.

Marriage is partnership

Man needs a partner to do fruitful and wonderful things like rearing children and sending them to school, teaching them moral and spiritual values, and making them grow responsible. Man needs a partner to do God's will.

Marriage fulfills procreation

"Go ye and replenish the earth." God commanded this to Adam and also to Noah after the flood. We get married and after that we produce offspring and nurture them with great responsibility. In the present time, our number of children must go equal with our responsibility in rearing them.

Marriage is a biological need

"If you cannot contain, get married" for it is better to be married than to burn.

These are some reasons why there is a need for marriage. Knowing these reasons, evaluates and validates our decision in entering a married life. It is a serious and sacred thing. It is a submission to God's will. "'til death do us part."

"Therefore, what God hath joined together let no man put asunder."
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#89024
Re:Life After Marriage 1 Year, 9 Months ago Karma: 35
eugenlucas wrote:

life after marrige ba o life after wedding itong topic na 'to?
life after marriage = divorce. hehe





The topic is life after marriage, 'di po ba?
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#89107
Re:Life After Marriage 1 Year, 9 Months ago Karma: 35
How about seeing them like this?



How would you feel one day if they had already given up for you? Can you just watch and let them go?

"I am worth when I am not...."
Ton Monreal
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