In a dog-eat-dog society, being kind or showing kindness to people around us is becoming a major challenge. Oftentimes, we give ourselves a license to be unkind, to be critical of others, or have a no-care attitude simply because we are so busy, long-lasting relationships are not required of us from the people we meet, or other reasons we imagine to be worthy enough of consideration.
How many of us, however, have ever really sat down and contemplated the ramifications of our daily actions? When we are at the grocery store, the market, the shopping center, do we snap at people we bump into: the clerks, other customers?
When somebody snaps or says unkind words to us, do we also get back at them with unkind words of our own to get even? Or do we try to extend kindness to that particular person, who could very well be tired, hungry or having problems at home, and instead say, “You must be having a bad day. I hope you’ll feel better.”
Acts of kindness, according to the book “Love as a Way of Life” by Gary Chapman, have the following positive effects:
• They release the body’s painkillers, the endorphins. • The feeling of euphoria and subsequent peacefulness after performing an act of kindness is so common that it’s called a helper’s high. • Helping others can minimize the effects of disease and other physical disorders. • Acts of kindness have been proved to reverse feelings of depression, hostility and isolation. As a result, stress-related health problems often improve after you help someone else. • The health benefits and sense of calm from an act of kindness return for hours or days after the event, whenever the act of kindness is remembered. • Caring for other people in a positive relationship has been shown to improve the immune system. • Acting kindly toward other people increases one’s sense of self-worth, optimism, and overall satisfaction in life.
We Filipinos have always been known to be authentically happy people, despite our poverty, our myriad political problems, unemployment, and other life challenges. Perhaps, we should blame our happiness on the small acts of kindness we show our neighbors, our family members, our co-workers, or our community members on a daily basis.
Being a predominantly Christian group of people, we Filipinos are part of that small group of Christians in the first centuries, who overcame a self-centered power... the Roman Empire. By taking care of the poor, and advocating loving even their own enemies, Christians became accepted as a small sect amidst the power-hungry, decadent Roman Empire. And see how such a small sect has grown since then, and eventually overcame a decaying superpower.
Acts of kindness need not be done in a large scale. Here are a few simple ones we can all do in everyday life:
• Give a store clerk a compliment for the good service you have received. • Hold the door open for someone. • Smile at a child. If he/she initiates conversation, listen attentively. If he/she asks a question, answer it. • Share your umbrella with someone when it’s raining (especially these days, when unpredictable weather changes seem to have ushered in the rainy season so early in the middle of supposedly the summer season in Bangkok!) • Visit an elderly person, the sick or those in prison. • Tip people well. • When a friend is having a difficult time, offer help (watch the children, get groceries, go to the market for them, drive them somewhere, clean the house, etc). • Take your co-worker out to lunch on his/her birthday. • Organize a party for your boss, just to thank him/her for being a great boss. • Compliment your preacher after a good sermon. • Take the garbage out, offer to wash the dishes or watch the children while your wife goes for a facial. • Give your husband a back rub after a long day at work. • Take the kids out for dinner after a great performance at school, or simply because school just started.
If we all live with the thought that each person we meet is being challenged in life, may it be at work, at home, in finance, in relationships, or other areas of life, it could give us one reason why we need to be kind to one another. If that does not work, then just imagine those millions of endorphins rushing through your whole body, making you feel so much better...just after you gave a compliment to the nice staff at 7-Eleven where you just bought your morning’s coffee.
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